I have some stuff on my mind and for some reason I haven't been able to put them down on paper, or blog for that matter. I think it's because once I see them typed out, they'll really be true and then, there's no turning back. But why would I want to turn back anyway? Life goes on.
Emotionally bruised and confused, I stand here wondering if I'll ever feel peace. Just that feeling of complete tranquility. I think not. It would be too easy and I'm a complicated person, deep down I'd be wanting something to happen. I don't know what happened to me or my life, but I'm not sure I'm on the right path. The past came back to haunt me and I always thought everything happens for a reason, but what could that be in this case? Why would having an old flame in my life be a good thing? I have no idea. I just know it feels comfortable, it feels like home. And yet, impossible because of all the things that stand between me and achieving this particular dream. I'm talking serious, real, tangible factors like 5,000 miles of ocean and land. That's how real this obstacle is. Who knows.
Then, there's the issue of injustice I have to deal with every day. I can't understand why things happen the way they do. Why only the most undeserving people get the easiest part of life. Why some of us have to work so damn hard and get nowhere. Why, why, why. The saying with the wheel turning comes to mind, but I've got no time to wait for that. And so I keep working and keep pushing, even though I know in the back of my mind it's all for nothing. Life will always, always, always be like this. Some people get rewarded with everything, while others have to work to get nothing. Injustice, like I said. And if you know me, you'll know it kills me.
So I ask myself: what is it that I'm doing wrong? What's the mistake I'm constantly making that's not letting me get where I want? I'm blind and probably a fool, because more than likely I'll never find the answers. But I can't do anything else but what I'm doing now. Let life unfold and take whatever it's giving me, good or bad. And maybe learn a lesson or two. Because that's what real, tangible, amazing people do. Live and learn.
P.S. I love this song, cause it's...very true. And very mood-inspired. Besides, Daughtry rules. Foreverrr.
