It's only the end.

The end of August.
The end of another summer.
The end of an era.
The end of me.

I'm ending this month on a rather sad note. I feel empty, disappointed, hurt. But somehow, hopeful. I'm hoping in a better tomorrow, because I doubt I could sink any lower than this. In matters of feelings, I mean. Nothing so dramatic happened, but I feel so broken after this last week. So much that I gave up something I've held very close to my heart for the last two and a half years. I'm ready to move on now, even though it hurts and it makes me feel forgotten. But some things need to be on their way and perhaps this is the case. If I'm wrong, it'll come back to me. If not, then it's definitely for the better. One cannot spend his or her life longing for something that never shows up.

I've decided to go back to school. Well, only for one course, but it's better than nothing. I'm going crazy not doing anything all day long, so I have to find something useful to do. Thus, my creative writing course. I'm still not sure if it's my best option, but I can't spend another year wondering and wondering. And maybe this will help keep me busy and I won't have enough time to think about the same things over and over again. That would be a nice change of pace.

Anyway. I must leave the online world for now. Too much drama for not a lot of rewarding moments.
Wake me up when September ends...

Covergirl.

I don't understand why time has to be so flighty. One minute it's there, then the next thing I know, it's gone. And as we all know, you can't turn back time, even if you desperately want or need it.

Anyway.
Mid-August and I feel like I'm wasting my life away, partying it up in the weekends and slaving during the week. I know, I know. We all have to start from the bottom and work our way up to the top, but sometimes I think the top is like...you know, in that Tom&Jerry episode when Tom dies and goes on that big escalator to heaven? Yeah, that's how I feel. Except my escalator isn't self-running, I have to literally take every step. And yeah, sometimes I feel like I'm too tired to go on. Like now. Too many things happening at once.

My friends can't get along with each other because one's too stupid and proud to care and the other one...well, she didn't technically do anything wrong, so what the hell. And I'm in the middle, though it's the last place I want to be. I actually want to be on a sunny beach, in the Bahamas. That'd be lovely.

I'm probably unbelievably stupid because of what I'm doing now. Which is exactly what I did over three years ago: push all my friends away because I'm waiting for a guy to call me. "No, I can't go out tonight." Why? Because I'm waiting for a man to call and ask me out. Pathetic? Thought as much. And yet, here I am, having a "quiet weekend". Don't get me wrong, sometimes down time is appreciated, but if it's for the wrong reasons..I don't think they call it a 'down time'.

What else, what else. Last Thursday there was a shooting stars shower in the UK and I took the aforementioned man to the Parliament Hill in London and wow. The view is spectacular! You can see the whole city of London, and it was midnight and the entire city was lit with amazingly colorful lights. It was breathtaking, to be honest. And it was probably my highlight of the week.

I spent a bunch of money today, for no particular reason. Hell, I can think of one: retail therapy. And my tongue piercing is better than ever, if you must know. I'm loving it more and more every day and I can't wait for it to be fully healed, so that I can start buying funky jewelry. I'm a rebel at heart, you knew that.

And with this, I'm done with yet another silly update. For whomever reads this and wants to know how my life is, there you go. But! It's a London life, so that pretty much sums it all up better than I could ever write it in words. Song time! I don't know why I love this song, but I really do.