Beat me up.

The end of the year always brings out the best in people. Or the worst, depending on each and every one of us. But I think we're all feeling something towards the new year. Whether it's love, hate, excitement, it's never indifference.

My first new year resolution was to try and respect all my resolutions. It's one I've made year after year, until I realized it's only the mirror I watch my soul in, and nothing that could easily be done. But I would love to be able to do it. And for some reasons, it's never the way I want it to be. At the end of December when I have to draw the line, there's always something else I should have done or said. But I tell myself there's time next year around. I don't know if it's true or not, but I've got hope and the air in my lungs, so for now it's enough.

Other resolutions include huge life aspirations that are better off unknown, at least for now. When time comes (and it will, I'm sure) everything will be revealed and quite possibly, all those years with unfulfilled expectations won't matter anymore. I've always thought it's more important to live because life is God's beautiful gift, not for the sake of adding extra points on the to-do list. Is that easy? No. So we make lists and we hope we can make it by the end of the year. You just have to hold on and give it your best shot. You can't be disappointed, if you try hard.


So. In hopes of a wonderful 2010, I write some of my thoughts on this page; maybe this time they will really stick. Maybe.

I get a sidekick out of you.

I used to be love drunk but now I'm hungover; I love you forever- but now I'm sober. Created by mickey-mouse and taken 170 times on Bzoink
Do you like the smell of anything odd (like markers, white-out, or gas)?:	Alcohol.
What is the last song you had stuck in your head? :	Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
Is your handwriting on the larger or smaller side? Is it neat?:	Smaller, not neat.
Be honest - in your opinion are nude portraits classy or trashy?:	Trashy.
Who would you say is the peanut butter to your jelly? ;):	Brad Pitt ;)
If you are what you eat - what exactly are you today?:	Chocolate, fries, cereal.
Do you know any Eminem songs by heart? Which one(s)?:	Mockingbird.
What is something you are absolutely sick and tired of?:	Twilight talk!
Yay or nay: Lil Wayne? :	NAY.
Yay or nay: Taylor Swift? :	Yay...
Which is worse in your opinion - bad hygiene or stupidity? :	Stupidity.
Say something negative about the last person you spoke to in person::	She's a bit self-absorbed.
Say something positive about the last person you argued with::	I can't remember who I argued with, hah.
Do you think soap and candles are bad gifts? :	Depends.
What is your least favorite Disney movie? Why? :	All Disney movies. Because it's Disney.
Do you know the planets in order from the sun?:	No.
Who is somebody you would be stupid to ever trust again?:	Oh boy, long list.
Do you know anybody who has named their... um. "Privates"? :	No, lmfao.
Do you think you've met Mr. or Mrs. Right?:	Nope.
What direction is New York from where you live? :	West.
Do you have any pictures of yourself you wouldn't want your parents to see?:	No.
Would you ever cut your hair 6 inches shorter than it is now?:	Nooo.
Honestly - have you ever taken a picture of yourself in a bathroom?:	No.
Are you a fan of Lady GaGa? How about Katy Perry? :	Yes, both.
Have you ever been the cause of a smoke or car alarm going off?:	No.
If somebody wanted to make you REALLY happy right now what could they do?:	Buy me a ticket to London.
Is your Mom in love?:	I hope not.
Does anybody have a reason to be worried about you right now?:	Yes.
Have you ever driven by somebody changing their clothes in a vehicle?:	No.
Do any of your friends have hot siblings? Which friend(s)? ;):	No hot siblings.
Do you think that everybody cheats in board games at least once?:	Yes.
What is a song that fits your life perfectly right now?:	Chris Daughtry - What about now
Have you ever met a girl (past puberty) who didn't shave their legs?:	No, ew
Do you always knock on doors before you enter a room?:	No.
Have you ever wanted to give somebody a make over?:	A lot of people.
Is there anybody in your life you just can't seem to get along with? Who?:	My aunt.
Have you ever ran into a teacher at a place other than school? Awkward?:	Not awkward.
The last person you hugged is kissing somebody else - are you mad?:	No, she's my sister.
You have to play one, so pick: Strip poker or spin the bottle?:	Spin the bottle.
Who is somebody you love but could never fall IN love with?:	Most of my classmates.
Can you fake an Irish accent? :	No, but I can try :)
Do you know anybody who smokes crack? :	Nope.
Has anybody ever accused you of doing drugs? :	No.
Is it ok in your opinion to have sex with somebody you don't love?:	Yes.
Alright, here is your chance. Recommend a good song: :	Green Day - 21 Guns.
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What about now?

Today was one of those days I wish I were taller. No, bigger. No, somewhere else. No. Someone else. Because being me in this country is proving to be an impossible mission. Sort of like trying out for the amazing race when there's no one by your side. Except, that'd be like survivor.

Sometimes I wish time would go by faster, so I can get closer to my dreams. And then I realize that the more I sit around waiting for time to do its thing, I just lose that time. It's a vicious circle, I know. And it's hard to break free, maybe because there is nowhere to do that. Not here, anyway. I saw so much hate, stupidity and just plain inhumanity today. Of all days, today. The thing is...I pretty much expected it, but I was hoping it would go away, just for today. And as I was walking down the street, smiling to myself, it hit me: the wave of people crushing each other to get a better seat, men yelling at children to move over and women having a panic attack because of the men screaming at their kids. I've been all over the world and I have to admit, I've never ever seen such display of uneducated mass. It made me sad to witness it, because I had thought that in the last twenty years things had changed, at least a little. Not a chance.

So I came home and I said to myself, 'go start that blog of yours already'. And...I did. I'm one to say exactly what's on my mind, so if I offend anyone with any of my words, I apologize in advance. I'm mean and sarcastic and I take pleasure in that fact, because very few people are nowadays. Be prepared for my regular complaints, music notes, movies, reviews or just random babble. Feel free to comment and talk to me, I love people ;)

Love,
Bell.