Survey time.

The Everything Personality Survey

Please note that the dumb title was not my idea. I found it on www.bzoink.com (credit where credit is due) and it helped cure my boredom. For a little while, obviously.
Warning: it's long and uninteresting.

Let's get a.l.p.h.a.b.e.t.i.c.a.l.
I'm adamant about: my beliefs.
I'm beautiful in the sense that: I just am?! Lol. I don't like this question.
I cherish: the ones I love, mostly. Oh! And my Blue collection, duh.
I'm determined to: live life at its fullest.
I enjoy: spending time with friends, laughing at random stuff, reading a good book, watching a sappy chick flick. You name it, I enjoy it.
I'll fight for: love.
I'd give my life for: justice and equal rights.
My heart is: taken.
I'm intelligent in the area of: communication.
One thing I'll never joke about is: abortion and babies.
I'd kill for: nothing, nothing at all.
I believe love is: hard to get and impossible to keep.
I'm mean because: I can.
I'm nice because: I like you.
I'll be okay as long as: I keep dreaming and hoping.
Sometimes I pretend to be: someone I'm not.
I'm quizzical about: pretty much everything.
I respect: boundaries.
I seek: affection and sympathy.
I try to be: better every day.
I understand that: things can't go my way. Doesn't mean I like it, too.
I vie for: I don't really vie.
I wish: my dreams would come true.
My kind of Xanadu is: London. With friends and love. In a different, better world.
If all the world could hear me, I'd yell: stop being so selfish and start giving.
Religious zeal is: for religious people.


Let's get s.i.t.u.a.t.i.o.n.a.l.
Go to school with a tutu on or dress up like a mall Goth?
Both. Different occasions.

Go to the cemetery alone at midnight or pants a friend in public?
Cemetery alone at midnight.

Embarrass yourself in front of someone you love or in front of a stranger?
Stranger.

Get chili in your eye or slice your arm?
Chili. Definitely.

Kiss a frog or eat raw fish?
Gross and gross.

Read a dictionary for an entire hour or do push-ups for two?
Reading the dictionary.

Having to listen to Green Day for an entire day or listen to Mozart once?
Mozart once, even though I love Green Day.

Brushing your teeth for a day or combing your hair for an hour?
Combing my hair, jesus.

Having to read the poetry on Quizilla or writing your own?
I hate poetry!!

Roleplaying with strangers or roleplaying with people you know?
We're talking about WRITING, right? In this case, both.

Spending 98019820398123 hours on the 'Net or having a life?
Having a life.

Falling in love on the 'Net or revealing a deep, dark secret?
Deep, dark secret.

Crying because of an Internet fight or flaming the people involved?
Hah. Neither one.

Ignoring a suicide post on a forum or actually doing something about it?
Doing something about it.

Catching fireflies at night or staring up at clouds during the day?
Fireflies at night.

Taking a walk with your best friend or playing catch with them?
Taking a walk, then playing catch!

Being honked at or having some college kid tell you you're hot?
College kid.

Going to the movies or hosting a party?
The movies. Hosting parties is hard and messy.

Kissing a stranger or falling in love with someone who just doesn't care?
Kissing a stranger.

Going to school shirtless or without any pants?
Shirtless.

Taking a hike in the woods or going to a public pool?
Public pool.

Being intellectually superior or having a dozen friends?
Intellectually superior.

Getting a paper cut or stubbing your toe?
Stubbing my toe.

Getting rained on or having a water balloon fight?
Both.

Being OCD or being forced to do tons of homework for the rest of your life?
OCD.

Singing in front of an audience or bungee jumping?
Bungee jumping.

Killing a friend or living on the streets?
Neither.


If o.n.l.y.
If you could be in the arms of anyone at all: the one I love.
If you could visit anyone or anything in the world: London, London, London. And my online friends!
If you had functioning wings, would you fly away? Yes.
If you saw the person you knew you were destined to be with: I'd tell them. Or maybe jump in their arms.
If you could be anything in the world: I'd be me, most likely.
If you were to make someone's life better, whom would you help? *That someone, obviously.
How would you help them? By doing anything and everything I can.
If you could have a superhuman ability, which one would you choose? Invisibility. Or flying.

On a scale from o.n.e. to f.i.v.e.
How attractive do you think you are?
There's no zero, dammit. Hmm, maybe 2.
Intelligent?
5!
Empathetic?
5
Polite?
4
Respectful?
3
Comical?
4
Mature?
1
Unique?
3
Talkative?
4
Depressed?
5+
Friendly?
3
Outgoing?
2
Selfish?
3
Arrogant?
2
Prudent?
5
Self-conscious?
4
How attractive are you thought to be by others?
Others should answer, I think.


You in s.o.c.i.e.t.y.
Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance?
Not really.

How about your reputation?
That, either.

Do you care if they think of you as something you're not?
Not really, no.

Do you care if they consider your personality annoying?
Nope.

Do you care about what they think of your beliefs?
Yes.

What does hatred mean to you?
Useless emotion.

Do you respect yourself?
I could use some more respect.

Would you ever ignore someone who has been emotionally hurt?
No.

Physically?
Nope.

Would you ever intentionally and physically hurt someone?
I want to say no, but I never say never.

Intentionally and emotionally?
See above.

Would you ever hurt someone just for fun?
No, not for fun.

Do the means ever justify the ends?
Most of the times, they actually do.

T.h.e. e.n.d.

Dead to me.

I've read recently a topic on a random forum. A thread about love and how exactly do we know the person next to us. Or if we get to know them for real...

I think that should have been the question. Not how or why. But if.
If only.




I am.
Self-centered.
Sometimes selfish.
Stubborn.
Sweet.
Considerate.
Thoughtful.
Unbalanced.
Indecisive.
Flexible.
Tolerant.
Cute.
Generous.
Jealous.
Sometimes possessive.
Indulgent.
Pretentious.

And so many others. I am me, but do you want to get to know me? Do you really want to test my love?
I have my fair share of flaws, but for them I compensate in love, sex and magic. If only you were willing to accept me and stop trying to change me. I won't change. I am me, take it or leave it.

And every heart is breaking,
With every ghost I'm chasing...

I'm in a P!nk mood.

I'm not really talking about the singer, though You and your hand sounds like a good song for today's mood. Whenever I start my day off well, it has to end up sucky. Oh well, I guess I'm used to it by now.

What I wanted to say more than anything was that I really love you and then you don't even want to talk. Whatever, after all...I guess I'm trying for me, not for us. It certainly seems that way, from where I'm sitting.

Anyway.
I managed to change my mind about my future, or at least think about change. I'm all about permanence and change lately, so I'm not surprised. I do, however, not appreciate when certain people make me think about a possible future and then, go around and change everything, with not even a word. It hurts. Cause I get my hopes up high and then, you go around and kill them without a warning. Not good, dude, not good. I was so sure of what I wanted to do with my life and now...I'm sitting here wondering if I had it all figured out. Apparently I didn't. I did not know that love gives someone the power to break you. It really does.




Broken beyond repair...

Flames to dust, lovers to friends.

A huge revelation hit me in the head this morning, as I was sipping from a cup of steaming coffee. Being an adult isn't that hard, as long as you start somewhere. And since the first step is always the hardest one, we sit here pretending we're still kids because we're still in college, still following in our parents' footsteps, trying to please them. Sometimes even ignoring our own selves, much to our disadvantage.

So.
What to do now? The only logical reply seems, 'be an adult' and take life by its...well, you know. ;D
My sense of humor still lives, somewhere deep down, even though stressing out over exams isn't doing it any favors. And then I ask myself when it'll all be over and the answer instantly pops into my mind: never. It only ends when I give up and I'm definitely not ready to do that.




P.S. What is it about the cold weather that makes me want to type even more silly shit? Not that I'm complaining, procrastinating is my favorite activity anyway.

Till the sun comes up...

Mid-session. I kind of want to go die, right about now.
A week of studying and reading and dealing with a lot of other stuff has made me all icky and mean. And bitchy, too.

Nobody likes that.
Not even me.

Oh, how I wish high school back. Those were the golden days, truly. Now we get to deal with exams and bills and stupid love lives. But here's what I wanted to note today: It's been almost a month from 2010 and time seems to go by so freaking slow. I need me a time turner, just like Hermione. If you're not a Harry Potter fan, it's safe to say it's a wonderful device that turns back time.

I would turn time back to a place where I didn't have to worry about school and boys and I could spend all day long reading and listening to my favorite music. And at the same time, I would probably make time go by faster, to reach my all time favorite goal: London.

Instead, I sit here, typing up meaningless words when I should be studying. Hah. Ain't life ironic?


I am going nowhere in a hurry, baby come take away all my worries...



Tiesto Ft. Nelly Furtado - Who Wants To Be Alone

Bad start.

Oh, god. Some weeks start off just bad enough to piss me off for the rest of the week. Or to make me feel weak for the rest of the week. Yesterday, it was both. Learning something that raw about myself was like receiving a slap straight in the face, accompanied by a stupid voice saying 'sorry, you're pretty much insane and need to start working on it'. Ugh. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but whatever. Life goes on, I guess.

Well, life does go on and fuck my life, I'm supposedly in exam session. Three weeks of exams, exams and yes, more exams. My lack of previous studying, combined with my state of mind make me either too energetic or too lazy to give a damn. It's really not a good combination, it makes me wanna slap myself in the face.

Also. What's up with the whole world still going crazy about New Moon? I'm so freaking tired, I want to scream. Everywhere I look online, it's either Twilight related or Avatar stuff. Both need to be stabbed, cause jesus, it's getting old.

Yeah, not such a good mood today. Must go read some more economical shit. Peace.

Born in the wrong place.

I woke up this morning all motivated and energized. I was going to do things. Like? Well. How about everything I've been neglecting? And boy, there's so many, that when I thought about it I decided today wasn't the day. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe.

Winter break was...weird. Every time I go back home, I realize it's not my place there. Not anymore. I got used to living without my parents, even though I thought I never would. Now it's so weird having them around all day long, scary even. It might sound bad, but it's the truth. While I hate living alone, I also don't like living with my parents. Odd, but it's me. Deal with it.

New Years was boring, but nice. I spent it with my sister downtown and while it didn't have anything of the glamor it supposed to have, I don't have any regrets. After all, I did say this was my last one here, so why regret it? It was boring cause by the time we got home, we were too sleepy to eat the ton of food we had or even drink. So we were lame and old.

Other than all the nonsense I've typed. School started and I'm still very much behind with my studying. So behind that I'm looking at my books and wish I could throw them out the window. Can I? Oh, please, please. It's all I'm asking for. Anyway! Yes, school started, exam session in two weeks, I'm still ignoring the few friends I still have and still dealing with my least favorite demon: myself. Hopefully, 2010 will be MY year.

Here's to hoping.
By the way. Happy New Year! (: