Every once in a while, I'm reminded I'm not made out of stone, no matter how much I wish for it. Whether it is something as innocent as hitting a lamp post face first or getting rejected for the upteenth time. I want to be heartless, just like I appear to be. Perhaps that is exactly why people hurt me so many times, because they're trying to figure me out; trying to see how far they can go until I break down. Newsflash, bitches. I'm already down, you just don't see it. And if I can help it, you won't ever witness that weakness on my behalf.
But just the same. Every once in a while, I'd like it if you'd stop hurting me. I can be nice and sweet and gentle, just as long as you don't hurt me. But you always do, so I guess it'll be just like this, for all eternity. I'm so tired. Tired of everything, yet again. And just to clarify, this is not over a certain someone. This is over the fact that I keep getting the same thing over and over again and I know, I know. It's me, it's all me. But why should I change. Why. It happened when I was different, it happens now. Logical conclusion: no matter if I'm good or bad, brunette or a redhead, short or tall, self-confident or shy... It'll happen over and over again.
Well, you know what?
Fuck you all. All of you, fuck you. Just don't come back complaining I'm a raging bitch. You made me like this. Enjoy.
Might as well choke on it, too. (:
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