I'm stupid.

Definitely.
I hate lies. I hate liars more than I hate lies.
I don't need to be lied, I can take the hard, cold truth. I'm not going to cry and act like a five year old, stomping my feet because I didn't get my new toy. I'm not going to beg for a better outcome or for a nicer treatment. No.
And if there's one true thing? Lies are always discovered. I don't have to look too hard into the matter, somehow I always end up knowing the truth and it hurts more than if you would have told me yourself.

I feel stupid, small, useless, suffocated, unimportant, random, unacknowledged.


I hate lies more than I hate this stupid world. More than I hate it when I have to pretend I'm okay. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

And I hate myself for letting you get away with it every single time. Because I can forgive and forget, but you can't. How unfair. Who the hell lied to me and told me life was fair?

Just lies.
That's all there is.



I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend...